Lamest k race win ever

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

A man who posts about how he is superior to other drinkers of single malt scotch and how he consequently is going to get laid with a 95% probablility should be careful about bandying the word "douchbag" about.

Indeed. Nothing more undeservedly self-aggrandizing than bragging about fucking your wife.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

NO, NO, NO.

YOU drink some scotch. Maybe give HER some scotch. NOT the kids. At most, just have them rub some on their gums to help them sleep.

No wonder you can't get laid.

Rumpleminze is better for tykes.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

A post that is about single malt scotch is not always necessarily talking about single malt scotch. It is sometimes not talking about single malt scotch. If a post in which I say that I do not talk about single malt scotch ever and therefore I am superior to other single malt scotch drinkers means I am a douche, well, the single malt scotch drinkers who talk about single malt scotch, as I do not, are even douchier.

The words "single malt" shall never again pass these lips, except perhaps to say "this delicious blended scotch was made by expertly combining the flavors of a number of single malt scotches," although I cannot imagine it ever being necessary to say this, as it is probably somewhere on the bottle.

Let us never speak of this again.

BTW, AON, last night was a 5% night, but that was partly because we thought one of the kids had thrown up in bed, when in fact a different kid had. Long story; not worth it. Let us never speak of this again.

I hate people who wear Ed Hardy shirts as much as the next person who reads Stuff White People Like and laughs a little bit uncomfortably, but I would never openly criticize those who do wear them in an effort to make myself feel superior, and I would never argue that a post discussing how I never criticize them (in en effort to make myself feel superior to those who do criticize them in an effort to make themselves feel superior to Ed Hardy wearers) is not, in fact, a post criticizing Ed Hardy wearers. Except for this post. Because this post is actually about scotch.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Indeed. Nothing more undeservedly self-aggrandizing than bragging about fucking your wife.

There is no context, outside of imprisonment, in which discussing a 95% probability of getting laid on a given night can sound anything other than douche-y.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

No wonder you can't get laid.

I for one would like to add my scorn and ridicule at AG's complete inability to get any even after he bought the... wait, I don't like that phrase... after he shackled himself to.. wait.. not good either. Whatever. Atticus is lame.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

2. also, any man who uses the word "bandying" is tacking towards the Isle of Douche!

2. Same for any man who unnecessarily uses sailing metaphors.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

2. Same for any man who unnecessarily uses sailing metaphors.

You two should fight more often.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

There is no context, outside of imprisonment, in which discussing a 95% probability of getting laid on a given night can sound anything other than douche-y.

Fucking your wife? It's hunting on a fenced in game preservation.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Fucking your wife? It's hunting on a fenced in game preservation.

Huh? You're saying Cheney likes to fuck PLF's wife? I though that was my schtick?!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Fucking your wife? It's hunting on a fenced in game preservation.

yeah, but most guys on that preserve carry a strict limit that drags them well under "getting laid 95%" of the nights. ad the preserve limits you from other sources, like hitting game with your car on the way to there.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Adder

Huh? You're saying Cheney likes to fuck PLF's wife? I though that was my schtick?!

Christ, no... The man's facial money shot involves an actual gun.

Which brings this thing full circle to my earlier point: You'd have to be mad to star in porn with Dick Cheney.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

but that was partly because we thought one of the kids had thrown up in bed, when in fact a different kid had.

I feel a special bond with you now as one of my children also threw up in bed last night!

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

A post that is about single malt scotch is not always necessarily talking about single malt scotch. It is sometimes not talking about single malt scotch. If a post in which I say that I do not talk about single malt scotch ever and therefore I am superior to other single malt scotch drinkers means I am a douche, well, the single malt scotch drinkers who talk about single malt scotch, as I do not, are even douchier.

The words "single malt" shall never again pass these lips, except perhaps to say "this delicious blended scotch was made by expertly combining the flavors of a number of single malt scotches," although I cannot imagine it ever being necessary to say this, as it is probably somewhere on the bottle.

Let us never speak of this again.

BTW, AON, last night was a 5% night, but that was partly because we thought one of the kids had thrown up in bed, when in fact a different kid had. Long story; not worth it. Let us never speak of this again.

Let me get this straight: You drank mediocre scotch, tried to fuck your wife, got turned down, and spent the evening cleaning dried puke from your kid's bed? And you went into this thinking it was a post-worthy evening?

"Douche" would be an aspiration for you.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Christ, no... The man's facial money shot involves an actual gun.

Which brings this thing full circle to my earlier point: You'd have to be mad to star in porn with Dick Cheney.

Well duh, the man would harpoon you with that thing:



Yes, I know it's a colostomy bag.

[Cletus Miller]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Yes, I know it's a colostomy bag.

But what's with his pants?