Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch
It scares the shit out of any thinking person. Even those of us who already sank three quarters of a million dollars of mostly future earnings (not counting interest) into a 1,200 sq. ft. shit-shack on the wrong side of the railroad tracks. Mostly, it scares me not because I fear there will ever be a lack of idiots who will one day fist-fight each other to take that shack off our hands for an ever-rising nominal price, but because a ton of people I love have moved away because they've concluded it's child abuse to have two parents working fulltime white collar jobs for the dubious privilege of living through their kids' college years trapped in a single-family-detached residence that anywhere else in the country would be called a "starter home."
Or maybe that's just me.
Ten years ago I would have said the only reason someone WOULDN'T want to live here is that they can't afford it, but if you can, there's no better place. I think I'm less of an asshole now so I make fewer categorical judgments. You moved away and you had good reasons; I know you know of many others. The world is lousy with awesome places to live.
What I would say is that every place has its PASSIONATE denizens and the SFBA has tons of those. Nearly all of them are from elsewhere but they're fucking nuts about here now. (Not being chauvinist here; other places do too.) So here's my pitch: It's the people who make a place. I like the people who decide to live here, or who try. I continue to like them when/if they move away. I think the SFBA is a "big sort" for people who embrace a kind of Californian optimism that I find really attractive (even though I find it maddening when that optimism resolves into a belief that we can fix everything by exerting more control over people's lives and choices). There are tons of SFBA expats where you live. If you like them, there's a decent chance you'll like the others where they came from, or chose to live even for a short time. Even if they all moved away, you might find that you tend to like people who came to where you are from the same place.
That would be my pitch to someone who is unsure. It won't work as a reason to move to Palo Alto if this person dearly loves everyone who used to live in The Mission, but I would rather lose the argument than win it by trick or ruse.
(Confession: The opposite is sometimes true. I find I have to work harder to like people who moved here from TCOTU. At this point it's probably a bias, but originally it was because I noticed a tendency for them to want to talk about "the best" this and "the best" that. So I'll say it: people from NYC have an uphill battle for my affection, which most have eventually won with their other, good qualities.)
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Yeah, the people are definitely a major factor in the equation. A lot of my people, seem to be doing the Texodus from places like the Mission and the East Bay, including my sister, who just gave up after 15 years in the SFBA. She's living on a ranch for a year and then headed to Austin to grad school after establishing residency here. Out of state here is cheaper than in state in one of the UCs, and in state is worth a half year of unemployment followed by picking up contract work. (In a freak coincidence, she quit from her place of employment about a week after a headhunter representing them called me. Seems they always want someone from our family on the payroll. In another weirdly timed coincidence, my other sister's boyfriend is also being recruited to the same place.) I still have a fair number of good friends in the area, but ya'll are my only Peninsula people.
My major issues are expense, fear of suburbia, and fear of commute.
I currently live in a rapidly gentrifying Castro/Mission-esque neighborhood 3.5 miles from work (12 minute commute over surface streets by car, 45 by bike/light rail/walk combo, which yesterday in the 90plus degree heat wasn't all that bad). My mortgage is under a thousand dollars, and while taxes are going up, they're definitely not bad in the aggregate. I'm no where near underwater, so if we do end up selling we will have something to enter the terrifying real estate market there with. I love where I live, and I'd rather go through the agony of expanding/renovating than moving if we stay here.
Professionally, I think that the SFBA would be a better place for my spouse, but he's developing an international presence where it's not really important for him to be based anywhere in particular in the US. He has a ton of friends in the area, again in SF and the East Bay. For me professionally, I think it's a step up, but I technically won't be a lawyer if I'm offered and accept the position. Certainly it'd be a salary bump as I'm woefully under market, but I'm not sure how much of a difference it will make given the vast cost of living difference.
We're trying to start a family and miscarried twins at nine weeks in late May. Who knows what will happen, but we know we CAN get pregnant, so I'm guessing that within a year we'll probably be expecting again. (It took about 8 months of trying to get pregnant last time around.) Here, we have a ton of family support, which we won't have there unless my sister and her boyfriend move too. My spouse is flexible enough that he could be a stay at home dad for a bit, but we may need the extra income there much more than we would here.
All of this assuming I get an offer that's attractive.
ETA: It is the only place in the country where I don't immediately say "no thank you" when I get a recruiting call. I pay my inactive California bar dues every year just in case. Three or four years ago, I think I would have been much, much more excited about this as I am now, though. I think the kid thing probably plays into that the most, but it also may have to do with how much things have changed on the people front there in the last few years.
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