A Friendly Correction for those Man-Haters who Delve to be Single

[Tyrone Slothrop]

[ThurgreedMarshall]

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TM

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

A senior in my kids' school was killed on Saturday night, when she stepped into the street and was hit by a taxi. She died on the street. Yesterday would've been her 18th birthday.

My son is a freshman. Though they weren't close friends or anything, he knew her from a theater group they were both in, and he say her probably every day because their lockers are close. And he knows a lot of her friends through theater (and just being in the same school since he was 4), including some of the people who were with her when she died. He was pretty devastated yesterday.

I welcome any brilliant thoughts for how to help him get through this.

No easy way. Time, love, doing things you enjoy to take your mind off it. So horrible.

A few years back a kid on my son's HS hockey team died of cancer at 18. So when someone comes to me with a case they consider a tragedy, I explain what a tragedy really is.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

A senior in my kids' school was killed on Saturday night, when she stepped into the street and was hit by a taxi. She died on the street. Yesterday would've been her 18th birthday.

My son is a freshman. Though they weren't close friends or anything, he knew her from a theater group they were both in, and he say her probably every day because their lockers are close. And he knows a lot of her friends through theater (and just being in the same school since he was 4), including some of the people who were with her when she died. He was pretty devastated yesterday.

I welcome any brilliant thoughts for how to help him get through this.

As much as it sucks, in some ways it can be a life lesson, as in live every day etc.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

As much as it sucks, in some ways it can be a life lesson, as in live every day etc.

That advice sucks . . . you can't really live life like it's your last day, because then you never do anything for the future. Sure - if you told me I was going to die tomorrow with absolute certainty, I'm sure not going to work (or school). But even people facing the death penalty don't get that much certainty, so they actually have to live part of their life with a plan for the day after, and the month and year after. Maybe that means working; maybe that means buying groceries, or going for a run. But it certainly doesn't involve doing what you would do on your known last day of life.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

That advice sucks . . . you can't really live life like it's your last day, because then you never do anything for the future. Sure - if you told me I was going to die tomorrow with absolute certainty, I'm sure not going to work (or school). But even people facing the death penalty don't get that much certainty, so they actually have to live part of their life with a plan for the day after, and the month and year after. Maybe that means working; maybe that means buying groceries, or going for a run. But it certainly doesn't involve doing what you would do on your known last day of life.

Dude. YOLO.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

That advice sucks . . . you can't really live life like it's your last day, because then you never do anything for the future. Sure - if you told me I was going to die tomorrow with absolute certainty, I'm sure not going to work (or school). But even people facing the death penalty don't get that much certainty, so they actually have to live part of their life with a plan for the day after, and the month and year after. Maybe that means working; maybe that means buying groceries, or going for a run. But it certainly doesn't involve doing what you would do on your known last day of life.

hmmm, partially right- build for your future, but treat relationships with others w/o assuming the other will be there forever?

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

A senior in my kids' school was killed on Saturday night, when she stepped into the street and was hit by a taxi. She died on the street. Yesterday would've been her 18th birthday.

My son is a freshman. Though they weren't close friends or anything, he knew her from a theater group they were both in, and he say her probably every day because their lockers are close. And he knows a lot of her friends through theater (and just being in the same school since he was 4), including some of the people who were with her when she died. He was pretty devastated yesterday.

I welcome any brilliant thoughts for how to help him get through this.

The shortest, glibbest answer is that there is absolutely nothing you can do to help him get through this. Everyone travels through grief in their own way, and in some ways, it is a blessing that his first grief is a person distant enough from his emotional "center" that he will likely not suffer too much.

Allow him to grieve though. In whatever way he chooses. Because really, that's all anyone needs.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

That advice sucks . . . you can't really live life like it's your last day, because then you never do anything for the future. Sure - if you told me I was going to die tomorrow with absolute certainty, I'm sure not going to work (or school). But even people facing the death penalty don't get that much certainty, so they actually have to live part of their life with a plan for the day after, and the month and year after. Maybe that means working; maybe that means buying groceries, or going for a run. But it certainly doesn't involve doing what you would do on your known last day of life.

Hank just said "live every day", not "like it's your last", maybe he was going to finish it with "to the fullest" or even "like it could be your last". Actually, I think "live every day" alone is good advice. Don't sleep through the days, even if you have to buy groceries. Live. Make your mark.

Leave it to a lawyer to spin a bunch of implications from a bit of homespun advice and twist it all into "get back to work and buy groceries, be happy being boring".

Someone I was close to experienced having a friend a foot from them being shot and killed. After that, he said they always felt he had to live life for his friend as well as himself. He accomplished much.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

Hank just said "live every day", not "like it's your last", maybe he was going to finish it with "to the fullest" or even "like it could be your last". Actually, I think "live every day" alone is good advice. Don't sleep through the days, even if you have to buy groceries. Live. Make your mark.

Leave it to a lawyer to spin a bunch of implications from a bit of homespun advice and twist it all into "get back to work and buy groceries, be happy being boring".

Someone I was close to experienced having a friend a foot from them being shot and killed. After that, he said they always felt he had to live life for his friend as well as himself. He accomplished much.

Do Buddhists say YOLO?

#thinkaboutit

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Do Buddhists say YOLO?

#thinkaboutit

Mahayana or Thereveda?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

Hank just said "live every day",

I inferred meaning from the "etc."

Someone I was close to experienced having a friend a foot from them being shot and killed. After that, he said they always felt he had to live life for his friend as well as himself. He accomplished much.

That would be an awesome justification for menages a trois.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

Mahayana or Thereveda?

#youthoughtaboutittoomuch

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Do Buddhists say YOLO?

#thinkaboutit

Yes, but in Sanskrit it stands for "Fuck, I really want a fucking steak."

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Do Buddhists say YOLO?

#thinkaboutit

In Bangkok I got into a pick up basketball game with Buddhist students at the temple where the golden Buddha sits. These little fucks were the biggest ball hogs I've seen, worst than Thurgreed himself. It was so endemic there didn't even expect a pass. I'd work my poetry and dish something sweet to them and it'd bounce off their heads.

I'd have bet a Buddhist basketball game would be endless passing, but it wasn't.