Quote:
Originally Posted by taxwonk
Here's my thoughts, for whatever they are worth, which ain't much, I know.
I understand and see everything you are saying. What I don't understand is how I am supposed to react to this white privilege on an every day level. I am conscious of, and make react to people and make choices in such a way as to recognize the inherent racism in my actions in commerce and social interactions.
But what about how people react to me? Am I supposed to turn down an engagement because in a more just world more opportunities would be offered to black females? The particular engagement I am being offered will not be used to try and achieve more balance if I decline it. It will go to another white male, because those are the people my client knows. If I am in the grocery store and a black man defers to me in line at the cashier (which happens in Georgia and it disgusts me) what can I do other than telling the person to go ahead in front of me, which he won't. He'll insist on my going first because he is elderly, it is Savannah, and it's what he knows.
Knowing I enjoy a certain privilege does not necessarily equate to me always being able to neutralize it. I can be sympathetic to your situation, but I cannot change it and I don't understand why or how I should put myself at a disadvantage when that action will not do anything to help equalize the imbalance, other than possibly having me put myself at a disadvantage just to offset the cosmic imbalance.
I can use the black handyman instead of some white guy who gets more work. Am I supposed to break more shit in order to make sure the black guy gets additional work?
I'm not being sarcastic, and I am not making light of what I agree is the existing climate. But I can't really do a lot to make the world less racist or sexist. All I can do is try to be less racist or sexist myself, and I feel at times some people want to me to feel that is not enough.
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No worries. Listen, I've had this conversation so many times (starting with my position as black spokesman at my college in every class in which I was the only black person--like 80%--to my position as co-chair of the diversity committee at my firm). I am happy to have these conversations with people who generally want to think about this stuff thoughtfully.
I think your examples are very specific so that they are easy for you to throw your hands up and say, "The world is racist/sexist/homophobic," and feel better about who you are as a person who doesn't like or condone that fact. Of course you realize the advantages. I understand that you understand that our world is set up to suit you and to give you advantages I don't have at every level. I don't expect you to avoid every advantage because you know many of them are unfair.
What I do expect is:
- for people to understand that those advantages exist
- for people to avoid looking for every possible answer to a racist situation that doesn't involve racism to explain it away
- for people to educate themselves on their own racism and unconscious bias and to make an effort to address it
- for people to actively battle the racism that occurs when people of color aren't around--hell, I don't know how many times on this board people have said they would rather not have an uncomfortable conversation with someone who is racist. I don't get that. I know people who think Jews control everything or that gay people should be ridiculed. I speak up and let them know that shit isn't right, I don't like it, and if they're even a little bit open, have a conversation about it
- for people to stop looking at our political system (as so many do) as something set up for people to grab as much for themselves as they can. If Giuliani is a fucking goose-stepping asshole with his boot on the neck of blacks and Latinos in your city, don't fucking vote for him just because your neighborhood is cleaner and nicer
- similarly, if the cops and the DA are racist AF, don't leave it to the poor black people who are being screwed to be the only ones who do anything about it
The last part can really be expanded to all sorts of shit. Just because it doesn't affect you doesn't mean you don't need to do something about it.
When you're in a position to give someone a summer associate position, consider the whole fucking picture instead of advantage-based snapshot that consists solely of school and transcript. Who is a better candidate? A kid who grew up with nothing, came from nowhere, and graduated with a B+ from a second tier school or the kid who had every advantage, is a legacy, and graduated with a B from Harvard?
When you break some shit and need some help, give some business to the black guy. I'm gonna ignore the ridiculous "Should I break more shit" comment because it's...well, ridiculous.
Stop attributing every bad experience you've had with someone of a particular race with their entire race. This is probably one of the toughest for people to see, let alone fix. Understand that you sure as hell don't do that when a white person does something shitty.
Confirmation bias is real and if you pay attention to the news, you'll see it every night (in the news and in yourself--when a black guy is a suspect versus when a white guy's a suspect, be honest with yourself and take note of how you think about the report differently and then decide to change how you think).
Think about the effect microaggressions have on people. Back in college, some white student who was engaged in a similar conversation with a few black students said, "The other day I asked how Aminah's hair grew so quickly over the summer and she got mad when I went to touch it. What's the big deal?" She was generally surprised when someone told her that on a campus of 2,000 students, having a dozen people a day ask you the same stupid question while pawing at your hair may get really frustrating. The fact that she didn't understand that black people know all about her and her culture from being bombarded with it and surrounded by it all the time, and that she couldn't be bothered to take any time at all to educate herself
on her own time about braids and how extra hair is braided in and how black people's hair doesn't grow any faster, etc. didn't even occur to her. The newest thing is for people to only "see" trends when white people adopt it. Big butts are in! Kylie introduced us to braided hair! Black people are all sitting here, like what the actual fuck?
The best I can do without writing a (longer) treatise is to say: Stop thinking about problems that blacks, Asians, Latinos, and LGBT experience as
their problem or something
they endure. Start thinking about it as
your problem too. Tim Wise is really the gold standard as far as I'm concerned. Obviously you're not going to hit that mark. But a little bit of that by everyone would go a long way. (And think about your response to Adder earlier today in that context.)
TM
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