So I met Traci Lords. And she likes me. We had a wonderful weekend.
She is on tour to promote the dvd release of CryBaby. What she has lost in nubility she has made up for in personality. She handled her 15 minute Q&A with aplomb. While I doubt she will be nominated for an ambassadorship under the currrent administration, she handled the questions articulately and with poise.
Our relationship started beautifully. She felt a certain electricity when our thighs touched while posing for pictures. Our eyes locked and she moved towards me with painted, pouty lips. Only the dude behind me in line wanting his Bud Lite bottle signed was able to break our llocked gaze. I admired her post-legal cougarish glow while she was apparently fixated on my boyish, disarming smile and my relaxed demeanor.
The acoustics were not very good in the theatre and she may have misunderstood my question about "diction lessons." Her answer was completely nonresponsive at any rate. I was forced to slink back in my seat while the attendant nerds asked questions about her work with John Waters, Roger Corman, her music career, blah blah blah blah blah.
I won her back with my insightful question about her autobiography and the more insightful follow-up offer to buy her drinks later. We drank tangerine Stoli's on ice, followed by tequila shots, followed by something blue on ice, followed by her request for my autographed picture. We had so much in common, like our experience as djs and with My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. I am planning on sending her the picture of her pouty lips approaching mine as our thighs touched.
Unfortunately, she did not believe me when I told her my age. She has also requested a picture of me from when I was 16. Can she get in trouble for that?
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