Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

Actually where I live is neither technically nor practically a suburb. I live in all the glory of the city of LA, with all the excellent services and benefits that come along with that. It is called "Venice" but it was reclaimed into LA many years ago. And we have the tiny lots, overcrowding, giant homeless population, lack of funds for improvements and crappy schools to prove it. LA is a weird example for what is and what is not suburban, but he just moved down here from the far north suburbs. Basically from a suburb of Thousand Oaks (which is itself a suburb). The kind of place that has groomed public greenways and ordinances about signage in strip malls blending with the feel of the community, etc.

In other news, I went out on a first date last night that was more promising. Although he didnt kiss me at the end. LA men sort of suck at taking charge and being the guy I think (and so does Patty Stenger, fwiw). But then he friend-requested me on Facebook when I got home. I don't really get the dating and social media thing, but that's way too soon, right?

Men of a certain age were raised to believe that a gentleman doesn't kiss on the first date and that if that rule is to be honored more in the breach, it had best be only a quick peck on the cheek. Ask Hank about it.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by J. Fred Muggs

Unless she was going out with him in the 1950s, that is likely true.

I was shooting for a 67-69 SoCal kind of vibe. You know, before Altamont bummed everybody out.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Well, back in Wonk's days, holding hands meant something, especially outside the club "Cherry Bomb".

When it all gets too heavy, that's when they come and they go.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

And of course he's gay.

They all are. Except for me and my monkey.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

Actually where I live is neither technically nor practically a suburb. I live in all the glory of the city of LA, with all the excellent services and benefits that come along with that. It is called "Venice" but it was reclaimed into LA many years ago. And we have the tiny lots, overcrowding, giant homeless population, lack of funds for improvements and crappy schools to prove it. LA is a weird example for what is and what is not suburban, but he just moved down here from the far north suburbs. Basically from a suburb of Thousand Oaks (which is itself a suburb). The kind of place that has groomed public greenways and ordinances about signage in strip malls blending with the feel of the community, etc.

Forget his vibe — I'm more worried about the vibe you're sending out. For example, I find every word of the above paragraph incredibly sexy. Perchance does he do land use policy for a living? #friendzoning

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by taxwonk

Men of a certain age were raised to believe that a gentleman doesn't kiss on the first date and that if that rule is to be honored more in the breach, it had best be only a quick peck on the cheek. Ask Hank about it.

"peck on the cheek?" that's Mr. R's game, not mine.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

What do/would you people do if you went out on a couple of dates with someone and you just weren't feeling the romantic thing but you were open to being friends? Would you tell the person that you are feeling friend vibe (assume they've asked you out again but no firm plans) or would you just not go out with them and leave it at that? Why am I so bad at this? Is there any point to trying to convert this barely-dated into a friend? No, right? So why is it hard for me to just blow someone off? Ugh.

I think a lot of this depends on whether being friends is something you're actively looking forward to, or is just a guilt-free way of letting him down easy. You say you could use more male friends; there are less fraught ways of increasing that inventory than stocking it with dud romances. Manfred's right that most men will interpret the offer of friendship as meaning there's still a chance. For the ongoing friendship to really work, the idea that a more romantic attachment was never in the cards pretty much needs to originate with him. I hate to get all "When Harry Met Sally" on this, but I worry that the sex thing will always be in the way. You can be friends with exes, but the relationship you never had will hang over your friendship like a Sword of Damocles.

I find it useful for my female friends to be married work colleagues so there are always three and sometimes four really good reasons why the sex we're not having isn't a realistic enough possibility for anyone to wonder "What if?"

[ThurgreedMarshall]

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1831

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1832

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1833

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1834

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

I'm back in the singles game after letting Mr Patience go last month. I've never really done much of the casually dating thing and I find myself with some questions. So I'll ask a bunch of married/coupled lawyer types (hey, are there any singletons out there? or better yet über smug divorcees??)...

What do/would you people do if you went out on a couple of dates with someone and you just weren't feeling the romantic thing but you were open to being friends? Would you tell the person that you are feeling friend vibe (assume they've asked you out again but no firm plans) or would you just not go out with them and leave it at that? Why am I so bad at this? Is there any point to trying to convert this barely-dated into a friend? No, right? So why is it hard for me to just blow someone off? Ugh.

He doesn't want to be your friend. Shoot him an email and tell him you've started seeing someone and leave it at that. He'll decide if he wants to remain your friend or not by saying so explicitly. Accept whatever decision he makes.

TM

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall

He doesn't want to be your friend. Shoot him an email and tell him you've started seeing someone and leave it at that. He'll decide if he wants to remain your friend or not by saying so explicitly. Accept whatever decision he makes.

TM

Above is the only response you need to read.

Did you guys know there are American Girl Doll cruises? It's true, I looked it up. The one this fall is sold out. That fact is far more disturbing than the Mos Def video.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Above is the only response you need to read.

Did you guys know there are American Girl Doll cruises? It's true, I looked it up. The one this fall is sold out. That fact is far more disturbing than the Mos Def video.

What is more disturbing than either fact is that you learned of the fact in the first place.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

What is more disturbing than either fact is that you learned of the fact in the first place.

I agree, but I have a daughter and she has grandparents and there is an American Girl Doll store at the Mall of America, so those three things together make the probability of me not knowing about American Girl Dolls a number closely approximating zero. I am actually somewhat relieved that I was able to have a daughter who has grandparents for over eight years before I learned about the cruise, and am very relieved that, to my knowledge, she is unaware of this cruise. The girls in the carpool this morning spent the entire ride to theater camp poring over the latest American Girl Doll catalogue. In case you don't know what an American Girl Doll is, it is a doll that costs $100, which makes it way more special than regular dolls, which is why it is so expensive. The store at the Mall of America is devoted exclusively to these dolls and their doll paraphernalia, and you can dress up in a matching outfit with your doll and take your doll out to tea there, or take her to the hair salon, or do other things that make my brain hurt to think about. The conversation consisted of things like, "That's Elizabeth. She's English but she's going to the doll archives soon.", and "Did you know that you can get a braces set for your doll? They tell you to take care of your doll but when they pierce her ears they really just drill holes in her ears.", and "I have a look-alike doll, too, but mine is blonde because it had been a long time since my grandparents had seen me." Shortly after dropping the girls off, I realized that I might have actually just been a passive participant in a Eugene Ionesco play called "Crise de l'Age Mur." I don't know what they are teaching these kids at this theater camp, but their performance in the car was nothing short of brilliant. Anyhoo, I'm totally still an edgy rocker type dude. Really. NotBob, got any music recs for me?

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

What is more disturbing than either fact is that you learned of the fact in the first place.

More disturbing still: despite a knowledge of the American Girl world that approaches Flower's, I initially read this as a Real Doll Cruise.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone

More disturbing still: despite a knowledge of the American Girl world that approaches Flower's, I initially read this as a Real Doll Cruise.

ewwww, do you imagine they "wife" swap?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

I agree, but I have a daughter and she has grandparents and there is an American Girl Doll store at the Mall of America, so those three things together make the probability of me not knowing about American Girl Dolls a number closely approximating zero. I am actually somewhat relieved that I was able to have a daughter who has grandparents for over eight years before I learned about the cruise, and am very relieved that, to my knowledge, she is unaware of this cruise. The girls in the carpool this morning spent the entire ride to theater camp poring over the latest American Girl Doll catalogue. In case you don't know what an American Girl Doll is, it is a doll that costs $100, which makes it way more special than regular dolls, which is why it is so expensive. The store at the Mall of America is devoted exclusively to these dolls and their doll paraphernalia, and you can dress up in a matching outfit with your doll and take your doll out to tea there, or take her to the hair salon, or do other things that make my brain hurt to think about. The conversation consisted of things like, "That's Elizabeth. She's English but she's going to the doll archives soon.", and "Did you know that you can get a braces set for your doll? They tell you to take care of your doll but when they pierce her ears they really just drill holes in her ears.", and "I have a look-alike doll, too, but mine is blonde because it had been a long time since my grandparents had seen me." Shortly after dropping the girls off, I realized that I might have actually just been a passive participant in a Eugene Ionesco play called "Crise de l'Age Mur." I don't know what they are teaching these kids at this theater camp, but their performance in the car was nothing short of brilliant. Anyhoo, I'm totally still an edgy rocker type dude. Really. NotBob, got any music recs for me?

I took my son to a NASCAR race one year, and felt that I needed to get my daughter a gift. But the only thing close to something she would want was at the merch trailer for the Hooter's race team. They had a mini skirt and sleeveless T Hooter's outfit sized just right for the Barbie doll. I bought it. I better prepared my daughter for reality than all those contrived AG backstories. No offense.