Stuck on Repeats

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Am I better off flying into Newark if I'm going to (a) Midtown or (b) lower Manhattan? I have never once been on a flight to/from LGA that wasn't delayed.

[Adder]

I thought this one was more interesting still: http://nymag.com/thecut/2012/08/my-d...free-rape.html

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

I understand her point but she doesn't make it very well. Every person who is talking to her could be hitting on her, and every person who is hitting on her could be a psycho who will start screaming at her and threatening her.

The same is true no matter where she is -- whether it's public transit, a bar, a party. Should no one talk to her or any other woman? That's not her point, I think -- rather, her point is that men should take it politely when she doesn't want to talk with them and would rather read her book. That's true -- they should. But not because every once in awhile (I simply don't believe that it's a constant threat) there will be a psycho who will start yelling at her in response. But rather, because it's just a decent and polite thing to let someone read her book if that's what she wants to do.

Put differently, men shouldn't be assholes. Not because some assholes are also psychos, just because not being an asshole is a good thing in and of itself.

Christ, I'm bored today.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Am I better off flying into Newark if I'm going to (a) Midtown or (b) lower Manhattan? I have never once been on a flight to/from LGA that wasn't delayed.

Yes. Newark is really easy to deal with.

But -- if you fly in in the morning, the traffic getting from Newark to NY is murderous. Also, a few years ago I was flying into Newark several times a month and I learned that the evening departing flights are often badly delayed. I think that, whenever they have weather problems in New York generally, they delay the flights coming into Newark the most. The morning flights are a lot better.

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by Adder

I thought this one was more interesting still: http://nymag.com/thecut/2012/08/my-d...free-rape.html

How do you not have a conversation with the BF, your girlfriends, your doctor -- somebody -- about sex being painful every time?

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Am I better off flying into Newark if I'm going to (a) Midtown or (b) lower Manhattan? I have never once been on a flight to/from LGA that wasn't delayed.

I always fly to LGA. I don't know why. I just do.

I realize this isn't the least bit helpful.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

I understand her point but she doesn't make it very well. Every person who is talking to her could be hitting on her, and every person who is hitting on her could be a psycho who will start screaming at her and threatening her.

The same is true no matter where she is -- whether it's public transit, a bar, a party. Should no one talk to her or any other woman? That's not her point, I think -- rather, her point is that men should take it politely when she doesn't want to talk with them and would rather read her book. That's true -- they should. But not because every once in awhile (I simply don't believe that it's a constant threat) there will be a psycho who will start yelling at her in response. But rather, because it's just a decent and polite thing to let someone read her book if that's what she wants to do.

My daughter and I were on an NYC train last week. It was pretty crowded. A cute young woman, about my daughter's age, was reading a book and standing. A guy got on, standing 10 feet away from her. then he saw her and moved over to her. He said something, she looked up, seemed to say something politely, then turned her head back. He said some more. She sort of buried her head further and further in the book. He said some more.

All four of us got off at a big station and she headed for some other line. He was following behind; might well have been a coincidence.

Maybe it is because my daughter is looking to move there, but I felt for her. I remember a few years back all the NY socks giving me advice about subway behavior "Do not look at or engage the insane in any way." An insane guy had gone off on me because I "eyeballed" him. And it occured to me then the subway is a very scary place to be confronted because you can just walk away to diffuse something, at least until the next stop.

But the girl can't chose not to "engage" a potentially insane man, because he will approach her. Of course people have to be able to approach one another in public, and I'm fairly sure young women in general would be against a "men don't talk to single females on the train" rule (either as etiquette or some crazed law).

But it strikes me that on a moving train a sensible guy should be mindful that he is potentially bothering and scaring any young woman he speaks to. A decent guy should back away unless there is a clear interest from her to his first comment. But the problem is the actions of the not decent guys, so what should happen doesn't matter. And the young women on trains all know that it doesn't matter what a polite guy will do because the guy bugging her next may not be one.

Ain't no answer to it, but it sucks. And I bet it sucks doubly on the LA subway because that thing seems very empty every time I've been on it.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

I hate talking to strangers on any form of transit -- I assume they are crazy until proven otherwise -- so I wouldn't ask this woman "what are you reading" or anything like that.

But speaking to stangers on the internet is fine.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Am I better off flying into Newark if I'm going to (a) Midtown or (b) lower Manhattan? I have never once been on a flight to/from LGA that wasn't delayed.

I always go to LGA too. Last time I was through Newark it seemed like a much bigger deal to get into the city. LGA flights are often delayed, but I think that is true of all NYC airports. The worst part of LGA for me is the cab line, but I found a limo service that picks up at the gate and isn't too expensive.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

But speaking to stangers on the internet is fine.

True, but I did once take a 3-year break.

Plus, I wouldn't meet any of you whackadoos in person. Unless someone wants to get a drink in NYC tonight when this f'ing deposition (not the fun kind) ends.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Adder

I took her point to be that she never know when a guy hitting on her is going to react like that and thus she doesn't like being hit on.

But she's right that men don't understand because it never happens to us.

Bullshit. I read in bars all the time, and women will occasionally ask what I am reading or something like "How can you read in a bar?" It is a line. My book is the prop. And I like it. If the author of that piece is suggesting that those women should not approach me thusly, then she needs to suck my dick instead.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I always go to LGA too. Last time I was through Newark it seemed like a much bigger deal to get into the city. LGA flights are often delayed, but I think that is true of all NYC airports. The worst part of LGA for me is the cab line, but I found a limo service that picks up at the gate and isn't too expensive.

Now that United and Continental have merged, United uses the massive fomer-Continental terminal at Newark. They had about 100 cabs waiting in line when I got out, and only 6 or 8 people. Which was great, until I realized that the reason so many cabs were waiting for so few people was because of some dumb-ass system where you had to stand on one line, get one piece of paper, then use a voucher machine if you wanted to pay be credit card, then try to suss out what the last line-attendant was saying in his heavily-accented English.

Sometimes, air travel just blows.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Fugee

How do you not have a conversation with the BF, your girlfriends, your doctor -- somebody -- about sex being painful every time?

And continue to just hope he figures it out.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Fugee

The examples she used definitely detract from her main point. But maybe she wants to point out that she never knows when someone hitting on her is going to turn into a harrasser? I'm not sure.

She does say that the guys who regularly approach her don't take being brushed off very well.

When I take the bus, I am usually on a commuter express where you get a group of regulars who all talk to each other. On the local bus, I'd be more leery of talking to strangers for the crazy factor.

She's insecure about her looks, obviously, that's why she is making such a big deal about people who find her attractive.

I mean people who ride the subway in NY are 80% looking to get from point a to point b and 10% crazy, with the other 10% both. People who ride the subway in LA are 100% crazy.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

Bullshit. I read in bars all the time, and women will occasionally ask what I am reading or something like "How can you read in a bar?" It is a line. My book is the prop. And I like it. If the author of that piece is suggesting that those women should not approach me thusly, then she needs to suck my dick instead.

And have these women ever made you afraid with their aggressive behavior and refusal to take no for an answer?

Of course men get hit on. Even me. It's having that turn into a situation you can't control that doesn't happen to us.