Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidd Finch
I understand her point but she doesn't make it very well. Every person who is talking to her could be hitting on her, and every person who is hitting on her could be a psycho who will start screaming at her and threatening her.
The same is true no matter where she is -- whether it's public transit, a bar, a party. Should no one talk to her or any other woman? That's not her point, I think -- rather, her point is that men should take it politely when she doesn't want to talk with them and would rather read her book. That's true -- they should. But not because every once in awhile (I simply don't believe that it's a constant threat) there will be a psycho who will start yelling at her in response. But rather, because it's just a decent and polite thing to let someone read her book if that's what she wants to do.
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My daughter and I were on an NYC train last week. It was pretty crowded. A cute young woman, about my daughter's age, was reading a book and standing. A guy got on, standing 10 feet away from her. then he saw her and moved over to her. He said something, she looked up, seemed to say something politely, then turned her head back. He said some more. She sort of buried her head further and further in the book. He said some more.
All four of us got off at a big station and she headed for some other line. He was following behind; might well have been a coincidence.
Maybe it is because my daughter is looking to move there, but I felt for her. I remember a few years back all the NY socks giving me advice about subway behavior "Do not look at or engage the insane in any way." An insane guy had gone off on me because I "eyeballed" him. And it occured to me then the subway is a very scary place to be confronted because you can just walk away to diffuse something, at least until the next stop.
But the girl can't chose not to "engage" a potentially insane man, because he will approach her. Of course people have to be able to approach one another in public, and I'm fairly sure young women in general would be against a "men don't talk to single females on the train" rule (either as etiquette or some crazed law).
But it strikes me that on a moving train a sensible guy should be mindful that he is potentially bothering and scaring any young woman he speaks to. A decent guy should back away unless there is a clear interest from her to his first comment. But the problem is the actions of the not decent guys, so what should happen doesn't matter. And the young women on trains all know that it doesn't matter what a polite guy will do because the guy bugging her next may not be one.
Ain't no answer to it, but it sucks. And I bet it sucks doubly on the LA subway because that thing seems very empty every time I've been on it.
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