Stuck on Repeats

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Adder

And have these women ever made you afraid with their aggressive behavior and refusal to take no for an answer?

Of course men get hit on. Even me. It's having that turn into a situation you can't control that doesn't happen to us.

Translation: Amazon chicks don't like me

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Am I better off flying into Newark if I'm going to (a) Midtown or (b) lower Manhattan? I have never once been on a flight to/from LGA that wasn't delayed.

Depends on day, time of day. LGA sucks but it is logistically close to NYC and there are multiple alternative routes a taxi driver could take to NY. Also you are dealing with a NYC cab looking to get back to NYC.

Newark I have only driven in and out or had a driver pick me up so I have no idea what the cab situation is. I think there is a reasonable NJT train. Beware that if cabbing into NYC you could get gridlocked at the GWB, Lincoln Tunnel or Holland Tunnel depending on the day of the week. I wouldn't do it on a Friday.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

Bullshit. I read in bars all the time, and women will occasionally ask what I am reading or something like "How can you read in a bar?" It is a line. My book is the prop. And I like it. If the author of that piece is suggesting that those women should not approach me thusly, then she needs to suck my dick instead.

Thrugreed has convinced me that this cannot happen with the book thing.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

But it strikes me that on a moving train a sensible guy should be mindful that he is potentially bothering and scaring any young woman he speaks to.

Dude, be aware that some men in NY show affection in, ahem, different ways. Be Ware.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I always go to LGA too. Last time I was through Newark it seemed like a much bigger deal to get into the city. LGA flights are often delayed, but I think that is true of all NYC airports. The worst part of LGA for me is the cab line, but I found a limo service that picks up at the gate and isn't too expensive.

Name of service and price? My car service from home to O'Hare is significantly cheaper than a taxi.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

Bullshit. I read in bars all the time, and women will occasionally ask what I am reading or something like "How can you read in a bar?" It is a line. My book is the prop. And I like it. If the author of that piece is suggesting that those women should not approach me thusly, then she needs to suck my dick instead.

Yeah, there are a lot of women at the bar in the W hotel in NY who are always very interested in what I am reading.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

But -- if you fly in in the morning, the traffic getting from Newark to NY is murderous. .

This is the good part about LGA. Traffic is typically significantly better than going from ORD to the Loop.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Fugee

How do you not have a conversation with the BF, your girlfriends, your doctor -- somebody -- about sex being painful every time?

She would wake up "with his thrusting into her." She would cry and he wouldn't stop. And she stayed with him.

This is a woman who has an awful lot of difficulty saying what matters. She stayed in a relationship with a rapist.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

Bullshit. I read in bars all the time, and women will occasionally ask what I am reading or something like "How can you read in a bar?" It is a line. My book is the prop. And I like it. If the author of that piece is suggesting that those women should not approach me thusly, then she needs to suck my dick instead.

I like very much that you live the life you're living. It makes me feel like we're both at opposite ends of some spectrum of adventure, me pushing the boundary of my end, and you pushing yours, and together we are enlarging the world.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

She would wake up "with his thrusting into her." She would cry and he wouldn't stop. And she stayed with him.

This is a woman who has an awful lot of difficulty saying what matters. She stayed in a relationship with a rapist.

I have been woken up thusly. I wouldn't call it rape. I'd call it a pleasant way to start the morning.

The crying thing is weird, but he asked her if he should stop and she said no.

I'm not saying it didn't feel like rape to her, but it probably didn't feel like rape to him.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Fugee

Some time back we discussed whether the guy hitting on the conference speaker in the elevator was creepy or not.

This is similar but broader.

Bicycle Man is so far out there in scary-probably-psychotic land that he takes away from the writer's main point which seems to be that she hates when she's sitting on the train reading a book and guys hit on her.

It makes no point that hasn't been made elsewhere, and better. If the idea is that there is a male privilege to be in an enclosed space with strangers without expecting a potential violent interaction with lasting consequences, she is wrong. If the idea is that there is a male privilege to move about in the world without much or any consciousness of an ever present potential for sexual violence, she is right, but wrong that "most men, even good caring men, have no clue" of this. And if the idea is that this anecdote illustrates any of those points any more successfully than a woman simply saying "I live a life of eternal vigilance about the security of my life and sexuality and you don't," she is again wrong. A guy that needs an outlier anecdote to understand that is too clueless to waste time on anyway.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Name of service and price? My car service from home to O'Hare is significantly cheaper than a taxi.

pm me the name of the client you'll be working for and the adverse party. I'll send you the name once this clears conflict.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

I have been woken up thusly. I wouldn't call it rape. I'd call it a pleasant way to start the morning.

The crying thing is weird, but he asked her if he should stop and she said no.

I'm not saying it didn't feel like rape to her, but it probably didn't feel like rape to him.

I'll confess to only having skimmed the article. I saw the part about her waking up to him thrusting into her, her wondering whether to list that as a sexual assault, and her crying. That, to me, seemed like rape. I've woken women up with sex and they were happy about it, like you've been happy with it, but she clearly wasn't.

I didn't see the part about him asking her to stop and her saying no. That suggests she's just deeply fucked up and confirms that she is completely unable to speak up when she should.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

I'm not saying it didn't feel like rape to her, but it probably didn't feel like rape to him.

This this this. And a good question is whether the language and coercive power of criminal law was ever the right tool for ensuring the positive outcomes of good sex, rather than a way to identify and incarcerate the men who would engage in sex regardless of consent. This is an area where the victim's experience of the act cannot be vindicated, but the aggressor's mental state is primary and must be punished vigorously when bad.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

It makes no point that hasn't been made elsewhere, and better. If the idea is that there is a male privilege to be in an enclosed space with strangers without expecting a potential violent interaction with lasting consequences, she is wrong. If the idea is that there is a male privilege to move about in the world without much or any consciousness of an ever present potential for sexual violence, she is right, but wrong that "most men, even good caring men, have no clue" of this. And if the idea is that this anecdote illustrates any of those points any more successfully than a woman simply saying "I live a life of eternal vigilance about the security of my life and sexuality and you don't," she is again wrong. A guy that needs an outlier anecdote to understand that is too clueless to waste time on anyway.

This is well said.