Welcome back E/O, leagl and Fringey: no one say the name "Penske" 3 times in a row

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint

ftw!

Hank will think it was funny, but won't admit it because he has the over on a meanspirited bet with Greedy about whether I'll post anything funny before 2018.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint

This could have been much funnier, and you know it.

I could show you ten drafts trying to sandwich in charm, but I just couldn't make it go

[cheval de frise]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Eva Silverstein and her boyfriend, a plasma physics teaching fellow, are sitting at a café. The building across the street is on fire. Two firefighters enter the building across the street. A short while later, the two firefighters exit the building, carrying a third man. The boyfriend shrugs and says, "The initial observation must have been flawed." He gets up to leave. She refuses, saying she will not leave until another man enters the building so it's empty.

They have a huge fight and break up. They die alone.

Physics jokes don't have to have sad endings:

Title: A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current, to watch the sine waves.

Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged – every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.

CDF

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Hank will think it was funny, but won't admit it because he has the over on a meanspirited bet with Greedy about whether I'll post anything funny before 2018.

it was funny. but your posts elsewhere have ruined my ablity to simply read and enjoy. I keep looking for subtext and metaphor. was the fireman supposed to be connie Hilton?

[cheval de frise]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I could show you ten drafts trying to sandwich in charm, but I just couldn't make it go

You could have gone with top or bottom. And said she lepton the hadron.*

CDF

*again with the happy ending

[Adder]

Originally Posted by cheval de frise

Physics jokes don't have to have sad endings:

You have provided no support for this assertion. That whole thing was sad.

[cheval de frise]

Originally Posted by Adder

You have provided no support for this assertion. That whole thing was sad.

You're just bitter 'cause you've got a blue bar magnet.

Ask her out already.

CDF

[Hank Chinaski]

anybody know E/O well enough to know if this has something to do with the breakup?

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by cheval de frise

You're just bitter 'cause you've got a blue bar magnet.

Ask her out already.

CDF

And you people call tax boring.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

This is pretty amazing.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by dtb

How does one lose a pair of pants?

Which reminds me -- there is an unclaimed pair of shoes around the house and I have no idea who they belong to. Who leaves without shoes?

If I knew where I lost them...

They were just gone one day. I still have the jacket. Kind of shame because it's nice, but it's striped, so it can't really be worn as a blazer.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

Does this make no one but me curious?

You've never lost pants? I wish I had a great back story, and perhaps there is one I can't recall, but all I can say is, I tried to wear the suit one day, looked for the pants and they were gone.

This stuff happens a lot with me. I've discovered fleece pullovers, shirts, jeans, etc... I'd thought I'd lost months after buying replacements. I have two tuxedo shirts because I forgot I owned one. My wife hates this. I forgot to show up for a challenged speeding ticket a month ago, then didn't pay the fine and got a bill and a warning about an arrest warrant sent to my home recently. It's terrible. I seem to allocate things by "Revenue producing," "Fun/Interesting," "Non-Revenue Producing" and "Administrative." The latter two I utterly ignore.

Have to pay $300 in fees for failing to take continuing legal education classes this month. Yeah, I lose a lot of stuff.

Except sunglasses. And good shoes. I don't lose those.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

This is pretty amazing.

I liked that quite a bit. Thank you.

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by replaced_texan

i liked that quite a bit. Thank you.

2

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

You've never lost pants? I wish I had a great back story, and perhaps there is one I can't recall,

Not great .. . . but you went to a wedding. Of course you're blotto afterwards. You come back to the hotel and hang up your jacket because, even in your drunken state, you're not a mongrel. Within about three minutes your passions overcome you and the cheap nylon hotel bed cover gets pulled off in the same swift motion as your pants . . . in the morning you wake up really late and still wasted. Check out time is 11 and your flight is at 12:20. Grab everything hung in the closet and stuff it in your suit bag and head for the airport, leaving the sheets and blankets in a twisted mess on the floor.

The good news is that no perv is sniffing your pants. Your wife's La Perla, however, didn't meet such a kind fate.