A Friendly Correction for those Man-Haters who Delve to be Single

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

I refer to it as the "fellatio alley."

Seeing your big anaconda out in the open must be intimidating for the men of your neighborhood

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

In Chicago it's the gays that gentrify everything. Those guys really know how to spruce up a parkway (or whatever you call the space between the sidewalk and the street).

It's called a tree strip, people. And if you live in California, there’s a nearly 100% chance that you own it and are liable for trees and trip hazards there. #zoning

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

I refer to it as the "fellatio alley."

"The ditch where that guy who drinks straight gin always ends up"

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

I refer to it as the "fellatio alley."

How you distinguish between the treelawn/swale/etc. and the median, the front lawn, the back lawn, the side lawn, the street, the road, or the turnpike?

BTW, feel free to update the wiki

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

the street, the road, or the turnpike?

Whenever I see one of those orange "Road Work Ahead" signs with the word 'work' and the 'a' crossed out, I always laugh a little, and then I feel a bit guilty because woman giving me unsolicited no-strings-attached road head at the time always thinks I'm laughing at her. Except I don't actually feel guilty.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

It's called a tree strip, people. And if you live in California, there’s a nearly 100% chance that you own it and are liable for trees and trip hazards there. #zoning

Thank god you are here.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Whenever I see one of those orange "Road Work Ahead" signs with the word 'work' and the 'a' crossed out, I always laugh a little, and then I feel a bit guilty because woman giving me unsolicited no-strings-attached road head at the time always thinks I'm laughing at her. Except I don't actually feel guilty.

I thought you meant "Rod Ahead' because it was unclear which "A" was crossed off.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=2484

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=2485

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=2486

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=2487

TM

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

well just heard that about a year ago a fellow who used to work for us went home sick on Thursday. He died that Monday at 51 from H1N1.

For those of you who have had the flu, do you get the flu shot?

I had the 'flu once. My eyeballs hurt. Ever since I get the 'flu shot.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

I had the 'flu once. My eyeballs hurt. Ever since I get the 'flu shot.

I heard there are carbs in vaccines. I'm on Adkins.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I heard there are carbs in vaccines. I'm on Adkins.

Trace? He's a hunk.

[Not Bob]

Imaginary friends of the FB, I need your help. I had lunch with a client today, and was stumped by a question -- "what hobbies do you have?"

The truth is, I don't have any hobbies -- at least not ones that I can share with a client ("well, Ted, I like to swill Manhattans while watching "Girls" on HBO and regretting the fact that I never dated that one Shoshana-like girl in college who sat next to me in Econ 101").

I mean, I read, but so what? I need a plausible and socially-acceptable for a Tool of the Patriarchy fake hobby. I suppose I could say that I golf -- I hit the links once every 2 or 3 years, and if actually invited by a client, could beg off with some excuse. Plus, my honest assessment of my golfing ability ("my handicap is in triple digits" or, personal favorite, "I can usually get the ball past the windmill into the clown's mouth in 3") comes across as modest self-deprecation.

Any other suggestions? For some reason, I can't mention playing tennis with a straight face. I can't fake sailing (I'm too Irish, and not in the lace-curtain Kennedy way) or biking (Flower's stories scare me).

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Imaginary friends of the FB, I need your help. I had lunch with a client today, and was stumped by a question -- "what hobbies do you have?"

The truth is, I don't have any hobbies -- at least not ones that I can share with a client ("well, Ted, I like to swill Manhattans while watching "Girls" on HBO and regretting the fact that I never dated that one Shoshana-like girl in college who sat next to me in Econ 101").

I mean, I read, but so what? I need a plausible and socially-acceptable for a Tool of the Patriarchy fake hobby. I suppose I could say that I golf -- I hit the links once every 2 or 3 years, and if actually invited by a client, could beg off with some excuse. Plus, my honest assessment of my golfing ability ("my handicap is in triple digits" or, personal favorite, "I can usually get the ball past the windmill into the clown's mouth in 3") comes across as modest self-deprecation.

Any other suggestions? For some reason, I can't mention playing tennis with a straight face. I can't fake sailing (I'm too Irish, and not in the lace-curtain Kennedy way) or biking (Flower's stories scare me).

My wife moved to DC with her brain damaged brother's old bedroom furniture. When I moved her we pulled out the drawers, which the prior movers did not do. Turns out there were real sleaze stroke books hidden behind them. I remember pulling out one with the cover headline "Jack Off Tricks For 1978!"

I couldn't look, given the boundaries of decorum, but I'm curious to this day. i think trying to advance any field of human endeavor is honorable, but something as widespread as masturbation? No, "I try to improve male masturbation techniques." is a very impressive hobby. And it will often lead to follow up convo.

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

My wife moved to DC with her brain damaged brother's old bedroom furniture. When I moved her we pulled out the drawers, which the prior movers did not do. Turns out there were real sleaze stroke books hidden behind them. I remember pulling out one with the cover headline "Jack Off Tricks For 1978!"

I couldn't look, given the boundaries of decorum, but I'm curious to this day. i think trying to advance any field of human endeavor is honorable, but something as widespread as masturbation? No, "I try to improve male masturbation techniques." is a very impressive hobby. And it will often lead to follow up convo.

I think a good fake hoo

Jesus, you edited quick.

I'm serious, dammit. Your suggestions are appreciated, but I don't think I could pull either of them off. Pun very much intended.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Jesus, you edited quick.

I'm serious, dammit. Your suggestions are appreciated, but I don't think I could pull either of them off. Pun very much intended.

the first seemed mean. but also a good suggestion.