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04-14-2014, 05:23 PM
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#991
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,753
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Re: I've got to keep my image while suspended from a throne.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Not Bob
Thank you all for the suggestions of a fake hobby. I'm especially grateful to those realists who didn't fight the hypo. For this next meeting, I'm leaning toward a modified Icky ("been too busy with the MacGillicuddy matter for you guys to do much of anything lately, but I'm looking to ease my way back on a par 3 one of these days"). I am, however, intrigued by the scuba suggestion from Barely and Lester's baseball nut approach. The baseball thing could actually tie into golf; my old high school pitching injury acts up and allows me to beg off on golf excursions.
Sadly, I'm not enough of a foodie to go the route suggested by Sidd and RT, but I can see that working well for others.
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Just tell him/her that you're really into jelqing.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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04-14-2014, 05:25 PM
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#992
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[intentionally omitted]
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 18,597
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Top 20
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04-14-2014, 06:15 PM
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#993
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 11,873
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Re: Top 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall
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I like Thurgreed's hobby.
__________________
Where are my elephants?!?!
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04-14-2014, 06:29 PM
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#994
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Proud Holder-Post 200,000
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Corner Office
Posts: 86,147
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We winter in Minnesota
http://www.freep.com/article/20140415/NEWS05/304150058/metro-Detroit-winter-snowfall-record
We broke the record for most snow EVER here.
Last edited by Hank Chinaski; 04-15-2014 at 08:39 AM..
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04-15-2014, 09:48 AM
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#995
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,231
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Not Bob
Imaginary friends of the FB, I need your help. I had lunch with a client today, and was stumped by a question -- "what hobbies do you have?"
The truth is, I don't have any hobbies -- at least not ones that I can share with a client ("well, Ted, I like to swill Manhattans while watching "Girls" on HBO and regretting the fact that I never dated that one Shoshana-like girl in college who sat next to me in Econ 101").
I mean, I read, but so what? I need a plausible and socially-acceptable for a Tool of the Patriarchy fake hobby. I suppose I could say that I golf -- I hit the links once every 2 or 3 years, and if actually invited by a client, could beg off with some excuse. Plus, my honest assessment of my golfing ability ("my handicap is in triple digits" or, personal favorite, "I can usually get the ball past the windmill into the clown's mouth in 3") comes across as modest self-deprecation.
Any other suggestions? For some reason, I can't mention playing tennis with a straight face. I can't fake sailing (I'm too Irish, and not in the lace-curtain Kennedy way) or biking (Flower's stories scare me).
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Skiing. It's perfect. No annoying business contact can ever compel you to go out and do it in the middle of the summer, or on short notice. It's athletic, so you actually get a decent workout. And people drink a lot afterward (some during).
And running. Anyone can do it, and nobody ever asks you to go running with them.
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
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04-15-2014, 09:52 AM
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#996
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Pop goes the chupacabra
Posts: 18,532
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Skiing. It's perfect. No annoying business contact can ever compel you to go out and do it in the middle of the summer, or on short notice. It's athletic, so you actually get a decent workout. And people drink a lot afterward (some during).
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It's a good real hobby, but is it a good fake hobby?
"How do you get the time to ski more than 5 or 10 days a winter?"
"Oh, what resorts do you like to ski?"
"Have you been down [famous double black run]?"
__________________
[Dictated but not read]
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04-15-2014, 10:18 AM
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#997
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,713
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Who cares if they think you're boring? Tell them you're an avid reader and pick a genre that particularly pleases you. If you pick a hobby, you will run into some jackass who is really into it and who will want to talk endlessly about it and will think you're a moron when you can only talk superficially.
TM
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I agree with Thurgreed and also do not understand why it is worth the risk to lie about something so inane as hobbies. I get that Not Bob doesn't want to say that he spends all of his free time drinking himself into oblivion in front of the television but we know he has other real interests. He likes to read. I just met someone over the weekend at a social event (granted kind of a nerdfest) who told me their hobby is reading. We then talked books for a few minutes. Not Bob also likes Riot Grrls music or however he'd categorize it. As for golf, he could say he doesn't get to as often as he'd like and isn't very good but he really enjoys it. Why get into lying? As others have already stated, if you mention something the questioner genuinely does and they suss out the lie, I'd think that would be worse even than confessing to being a drunken couch potato.
__________________
delicious strawberry death!
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04-15-2014, 10:53 AM
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#998
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,753
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield
And running. Anyone can do it, and nobody ever asks you to go running with them.
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Not true.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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04-15-2014, 11:20 AM
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#999
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 17,173
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Not true.
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Yup. Big shot partner at former firm would totally ask to go running with someone, client or otherwise. He used to do it to associates that worked with him if he knew they were also runners. I was never entirely sure if he knew how compelled they felt to say yes. I honestly suspect he didn't, but you never know with those types.
And, of course, he was as fanatical about running as everything else in life, so several of those associates reported struggling to keep up despite their multi-decade age advantage.
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04-15-2014, 11:56 AM
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#1000
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 11,873
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
It's a good real hobby, but is it a good fake hobby?
"How do you get the time to ski more than 5 or 10 days a winter?"
"Oh, what resorts do you like to ski?"
"Have you been down [famous double black run]?"
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Ugh, now I'm having flashbacks to several of the really crappy candidates I've interviewed -- the ones who list "interests" that are either things they barely do ("Oh, I actually just got into that recently") or are just dumb ("working out", "reading", or -- worst of all -- "people").
__________________
Where are my elephants?!?!
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04-15-2014, 11:59 AM
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#1001
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,753
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adder
Yup. Big shot partner at former firm would totally ask to go running with someone, client or otherwise. He used to do it to associates that worked with him if he knew they were also runners. I was never entirely sure if he knew how compelled they felt to say yes. I honestly suspect he didn't, but you never know with those types.
And, of course, he was as fanatical about running as everything else in life, so several of those associates reported struggling to keep up despite their multi-decade age advantage.
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I somehow got stuck running through Vanderbilt's campus and then showering after at a large Nashville law firm.
FWIW, it's a pretty campus.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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04-15-2014, 12:15 PM
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#1002
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Posts: 4,837
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I somehow got stuck running through Vanderbilt's campus and then showering after at a large Nashville law firm.
FWIW, it's a pretty campus.
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This story had promise. What happened to young Coltrane?
__________________
I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
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04-15-2014, 12:20 PM
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#1003
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,753
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint
This story had promise. What happened to young Coltrane?
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He became Almost 40 Coltrane.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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04-15-2014, 12:39 PM
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#1004
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 17,173
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidd Finch
Ugh, now I'm having flashbacks to several of the really crappy candidates I've interviewed -- the ones who list "interests" that are either things they barely do ("Oh, I actually just got into that recently") or are just dumb ("working out", "reading", or -- worst of all -- "people").
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Hey, you've got to thank those people. They give you a really easy reason to ding them. They've volunteered themselves as dumb.
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04-15-2014, 12:48 PM
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#1005
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Flower
Posts: 8,434
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Re: Advice sought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
He became Almost 40 Coltrane.
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Oh boo fucking hoo. I can't even remember "Almost 40" and Detroit had more snow this year than the North Pole, so fuck you. Let's try that story again. I'll get you started:
She asked how fast I run and I told her that on a casual run, I was not one of those 'under-6' guys. She laughed and said she had enough 'under-6' guys for a lifetime, and her eyes perceptibly lowered and stopped just below my belt. It would not be the last time she stopped just below my belt that day.
__________________
Inside every man lives the seed of a flower.
If he looks within he finds beauty and power.
I am not sorry.
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