Doesn’t Matter Who Wins the K Race; We’re All the Same

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

My hypothesis would be that when people's private racism is exposed to a wide audience, they do not use the moment to engage in some honest introspection and try to describe their inner lives with candor. They have to say something, so they say what they have heard other people say, much like you can always find the neighbor of a mild-mannered dude suddenly exposed as a serial murdered to say that the dude always seemed like a normal guy. And the media likes to regurgitate familiar narratives, so they will run with those quotes even if it takes multiple interviews to get them.

Maybe. But let me tell you a story.

I was out at a bar my friend used to own. I knew some of the regulars. Your typical group of drinkers at an average-ish bar. Colorful people, mostly alcoholic, but mostly nice guys.

One of them was fairly funny--loud, gregarious, fun. We would always chat when I came in. One time he was talking about how generous he was and argued with some dude who wouldn't buy a round. He said, "I said to this guy, 'Don't nigger, it!" I'd never heard that before and was very confused. He read that confusion on my face as anger and then started saying shit like, "No offense, it's just an expression," or some such bullshit. After a moment or two, it hit me and I was like, "Did you just say, 'Don't nigger it?'" I was done with him. Walked away without hitting him.

He was devastated. He kept trying to apologize. He asked my buddy to tell me he's not racist. He was obsessed with trying to convince me that his use of that word was meaningless. And he truly believed it, I think. In his mind, he isn't racist at all.

Now, you can argue that the fact that his obsession meant that he realized from the casual use of a slur that he actually is racist. But I don't think that's true.

I believe this type of thing happens all the time--I am just (and the subject of those types of slurs are just) usually not there to hear it.

So, you could be right. But I think (and I keep going back to the book White Fragility) that white people generally think of racists as Southerners who spend all their time spewing hate, wearing Nazi regalia, sic their dogs on blacks, etc. Good-bad binary. I'm not like that. I'm a good person. Therefore I cannot be racist. That disconnect allows them to say the type of shit she said (with a straight face) and mean it.

TM