Stuck on Repeats

[Adder]

Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall

Is your goal to draw as much attention to this as possible? If so, well done.

TM

Yes, which is why I first edited it out of her post when I quoted it and pointed it out without using the name. It was all part of my dastardly attempt to call attention to it.

Either that or having done that and having seen her reply without having made the edit, I thought perhaps I needed to be more explicit.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

As do I, if this one counts. But suffice it to say, most of the ones I deal with IRL regard the time in one's life that one sexes up more than one person at a time as an evolutionary stage in a process of personal growth that ends in lifelong stable monogamy at best and serial monogamy at worst. All other modalities are considered immature and self-indulgent, and are viewed with a combination of open tut-tutting and unexpressed envy. No offense.

I'm in 3 social circles- work people- friends- neighbors- that are mostly all married people. I prolly couldn't bring a date to one of the events with them. But there are divorced people who mix things up. Shit one guy just got divorced for the third time. I hope he doesn't settle down again, that would be immature.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

As do I, if this one counts. But suffice it to say, most of the ones I deal with IRL regard the time in one's life that one sexes up more than one person at a time as an evolutionary stage in a process of personal growth that ends in lifelong stable monogamy at best and serial monogamy at worst. All other modalities are considered immature and self-indulgent, and are viewed with a combination of open tut-tutting and unexpressed envy. No offense.

Translation: My monagamish friends do not open up with me.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Adder

Yes, which is why I first edited it out of her post when I quoted it and pointed it out without using the name. It was all part of my dastardly attempt to call attention to it.

Either that or having done that and having seen her reply without having made the edit, I thought perhaps I needed to be more explicit.

Do you have a mentor at work?

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

Do you have a mentor at work?

What's work?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by Adder

Yes, which is why I first edited it out of her post when I quoted it and pointed it out without using the name. It was all part of my dastardly attempt to call attention to it.

Either that or having done that and having seen her reply without having made the edit, I thought perhaps I needed to be more explicit.

Dude, send a pm next time. Otherwise you just come off as the jackass who can't wait to find, and point out, a mistake.

TM

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Shape Shifter

Look, man, my brother is dying from nasopharyngeal cancer.

That's the way it goes, I guess. I appreciate the PMs of support I've received from Greedy, TM, Hank and others. It really doesn't make a lot of sense and there's not a lot you can say. I can't say it either but I appreciate the effort.

He's currently being ravaged by infections. Imagine sinus pressure constantly in your head, that's what he's dealing with. It got so bad that it burst his eardrums.

I don't really know what to do other than to try to make him comfortable, which is impossible. It sucks seeing someone suffer like that. And he's lost so much weight he looks like a Holocaust victim or an anorexic.

It looks like the infections are about ready to kill him. My Mom is freaked out because she's one of those people who feel like if you work hard enough and figure things out, you can overcome life's struggles. She refuses to acknowledge that there are things in life bigger than her, or if she does, they're of the tidal wave variety.

This isn't fun. My brother and I have managed to have some cool moments together, like watching the Battle for Guadacanal on the Military Channel toether.

But it hurts.

This really sucks. I went through something similar with my brother-in-law, with whom I was closer than I am with any members of my family of origin. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Shape Shifter

Okay, so my brother's divorce finally came through. He got the papers when he was in the hospital learning that his cancer had spread. I looked at him and said "Congratulations."

I'm not devout, but do I have to marry her under Jewish Law? I really don't want to. She is not attractive and I find her to be a hideous human being. I don't want to deal with that kind of shit. She's crazy.

Does their civil divorce relieve me from that obligation? Does it matter if she's a lapsed Catholic?

Only if you're a Hassid or a Lubavitcher. If your brother is a reform Jew, you're golden. And even if he is orthodox, I think you get another, bonus, wife. Just make her a hot one.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

since we're all telling our sorrrows, there is a big fly that got in my house, like so big the wife and I swear we see facial expressions on it as it dodges our swats. I used to brag about being able to kill flies, and she thought I was proficient at it, but as the hours drag on and it taunts me still, dodging my rolled New Yorker, her respect for me must be dwindling.

Atticus- it is still early enough to work this into tonight's prayers, yes?

God, even I'm not that pathetic, and I have to rest halfway up the flight of stairs.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Shape Shifter

I've got enough troubles.

See, now you're fucked. Under Jewish law, that particular phrase, along with "my feet hurt," SHALL be preceded by an "oy." Even if you're a post-modern, hipster-doofus kind of Jew.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

Dude, I'm really old and really married but even I move in afew different social circles. Plus, 70% of my social events are me and the, uh, date. I don't see "who do I bring" as a problem.

You said you'd keep your mouth shut, bitch.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

Fortunately, I have a ton of J friends.

Orthodox or reform?

[dtb]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Sort of my point, in which case you're boinking two people and then one of them advances in the tournament bracket to "boyfriend." But having two socially acknowledged boyfriends? Does that really work?

If you live in a small town, or have a limited social circle, you are correct. However, if you live somewhere with enough social outlets so that likelihood of overlap is minimized, i can't imagine it would be too difficult.

My brother was [is?] a notorious dater-of-more-than-one at a time. His policy was that at least one of them had to know the entire truth, or it got too complicated.

[notcasesensitive]

I'm enjoying the interesting takes everyone has on the dating thing. My situation is not one of seeing two new people at the same time. In fact, I'm not really dating both of them, I don't think.

I started seeing a new guy about 6 weeks ago. He's a lawyer (branching out!) and may have gone to college/law school with a few people here. We generally liked each other right off the bat, but have taken things slowly (in some ways, at least; we are sleeping together t this point) because we are both recently out of long-term relationships (he is not yet officially divorced though they've lived apart for 18 months) and because he has 1/2 custody of his daughter. But I can tell that he is starting to think this is serious, and I'm not there right now.

The other person in the equation (though I'm not sure how much so) is someone you are all quite familiar with. When Señor Hombre and I split up at the end of last year, the idea was to take time apart without saying definitively that it is over for good. I spent the time apart really mourning the relationship and trying to find a way to move on. He's now come back to say maybe we should explore whether we could get things back. I'm thinking about it and probably won't go very far into my thought process in this forum (ya know, because it is sort of awkward and weird given that he could look here at any time). But I'm considering it and we've been hanging out some platonically (so far) while I do so.

New guy and I have never said we were exclusive but I'm leaning towards telling him what is going on. Because I'd be more comfortable being open. I think he'll probably get it, though be disappointed. I'd like to keep seeing him casually while I try to figure this all out, but would also understand if that's not his cup of tea.

So any more well-meaning advice?

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

As do I, if this one counts. But suffice it to say, most of the ones I deal with IRL regard the time in one's life that one sexes up more than one person at a time as an evolutionary stage in a process of personal growth that ends in lifelong stable monogamy at best and serial monogamy at worst. All other modalities are considered immature and self-indulgent, and are viewed with a combination of open tut-tutting and unexpressed envy. No offense.

You need to let me take you out and meet some IRL people who don't use the word modality.

LessinBremen