This is the thread where the fringster comes back with teeth

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

I just want to freak people out.

50 copies of



would do it for me.

[Not Bob]

Hello all. Long time, no see, etc. Been busy lately, but the Muse visited me yesterday while I was drinking rum on the beach of Saint Somewhere, and I had to share.

With apologies to Warren Buffett's cousin James from Mobile, I give you

A Partner Looks At 40

Mother, mother law firm
I have heard your call
Wanted to sit on your seats of leather
Since I saw "L.A. Law"
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the kids who work here
Grow from soy to cream
And in your files you hold some secrets
The Feds have never seen
Income tax schemes
And Ponzi dreams

Yes, I am a partner
A decade or two too late
The big banks went under
No clients to plunder
I'm a Gen Xer victim of fate
Annointed too late
Annointed too late

I've done some billing padding
I've tapped some para ass
I made enough money to buy her a Beemer
But I pissed it away so fast
New trophy bride
Upper East Side

I been in hell now for over two weeks
A depo in the boonies, and the room is full of geeks
And the client's not payin'
I've got to start prayin'
Or I'm down to "of counsel" again
I'll lose the spare Benz
And the schmoozing stipends

I work with younger GAs
"Mentored" several a while
But though I ran them away
They filed suit yesterday
The loss prevention team smiles
I'm on a case style
Isn't that wild?

Mother, mother law firm
After all the fees I've earned
My generational numbers mean
My generation's gonna get burned

I feel like I've tanked
Gonna go drink with Hank
Yes, feel like I've tanked
And I'm drinking with Hank

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Hello all. Long time, no see, etc. Been busy lately, but the Muse visited me yesterday while I was drinking rum on the beach of Saint Somewhere, and I had to share.

With apologies to Warren Buffett's cousin James from Mobile, I give you

A Partner Looks At 40

Mother, mother law firm
I have heard your call
Wanted to sit on your seats of leather
Since I saw "L.A. Law"
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the kids who work here
Grow from soy to cream
And in your files you hold some secrets
The Feds have never seen
Income tax schemes
And Ponzi dreams

Yes, I am a partner
A decade or two too late
The big banks went under
No clients to plunder
I'm a Gen Xer victim of fate
Annointed too late
Annointed too late

I've done some billing padding
I've tapped some para ass
I made enough money to buy her a Beemer
But I pissed it away so fast
New trophy bride
Upper East Side

I been in hell now for over two weeks
A depo in the boonies, and the room is full of geeks
And the client's not payin'
I've got to start prayin'
Or I'm down to "of counsel" again
I'll lose the spare Benz
And the schmoozing stipends

I work with younger GAs
"Mentored" several a while
But though I ran them away
They filed suit yesterday
The loss prevention team smiles
I'm on a case style
Isn't that wild?

Mother, mother law firm
After all the fees I've earned
My generational numbers mean
My generation's gonna get burned

I feel like I've tanked
Gonna go drink with Hank
Yes, feel like I've tanked
And I'm drinking with Hank

Jesus. And just when I was thinking of going sober, getting to the AA meetings and generally trying to be more positive about life. Fuck that. Thank god Sebby has declared it to be brown liquor season again.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

I've quit so many other things in life. One has to draw the line somewhere.

(Though after last week's obscene intake of Bombay Sapphire at the beach, I can say I will be avoiding gin for a little while. I think I am now temporarily immune to its drunk. Which is fine, as it is fall, and fall and winter are brown liquor and champagne seasons. Hence, the purchase of bourbon for a family function this weekend.)

Who drinks gin at the beach?

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Who drinks gin at the beach?

G and Ts on a deck overlooking the beach. Pimms Cups are better, though.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Who drinks gin at the beach?

Me, in about 4 hours. Nothin' wrong with G & Ts and beach bocce.

[dtb]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Yep. We go through a lot of butter, as did my family when I was growing up. You know why? Because butter is fucking awesome.

And skim milk is the Antichrist.

My better half ate peanut butter and butter sandwiches as a kid.

We use a whole lot of butter, too. About a half a pound a week, I'd say -- but we are a family of 5 -- and that's just for use at the dinner table and on toast. The cooking butter (in quarters) is separate. It never goes rancid. In the winter, it's still pretty hard even when left out. Because our house is freezing in the zone where the kitchen is.

Skim milk is an abomination.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by dtb

Skim milk is an abomination.

And soy milk is a crime against humanity, a barbarous atrocity eclipsed only by salt-free cheese.

[Cletus Miller]

Originally Posted by dtb

My better half ate peanut butter and butter sandwiches as a kid.

Hell, I prefer my peanut butter sandwiches on toasted bread with butter now.

And, from experience, if you buy salted butter it's good sitting out (covered, but no bell or anything) for several weeks. Unsalted butter gets a little discolered after about two weeks, but doesn't taste off for several weeks, either.

[dtb]

Originally Posted by Cletus Miller

Hell, I prefer my peanut butter sandwiches on toasted bread with butter now.

And, from experience, if you buy salted butter it's good sitting out (covered, but no bell or anything) for several weeks. Unsalted butter gets a little discolered after about two weeks, but doesn't taste off for several weeks, either.

The partner I worked for at BIGLAW had a secretary who would sometimes ask me (and other skidmarks like me) to get Partner's lunch for him, and would let me know what he wanted. Once, she ordered a turkey sandwich (or whatever) and a tunafish sandwich with butter. I thought it was strange that he wanted a tunafish sandwich with butter, but who was I to cast aspersions on his lunchtime repast preferences?

Anyway, on my way into his office to deliver his noontime victuals, she stopped me, and let me know that the tunafish with butter was for her. THAT made a lot more sense, as she was verging on nursing-home old.

[John Phoenix]

Originally Posted by evenodds

Sperm I acquire and use at body temperature.

Well, I proceeded to get nothing done the rest of the afternoon.

[ltl/fb]

Originally Posted by ltl/fb

It seems like it comes out hot. Am I misremembering?

It seems like I might want to have this cleared up.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

You're kidding, right?

Chop your brunch on a mirror? I'm not going to say it's never happened, but as a general thing, no - this is not a common or desired practice.

But as I said, your constitution might be a lot hardier than mine in this arena.

(Damnit... Now I have "Master of Puppets" in my head.)

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

Who drinks gin at the beach?

Had a place on the bay. Most of the outdoor drinking was on the end of the dock.

That and, Who doesn't? Gin's a perfect summer drink.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Had a place on the bay. Most of the outdoor drinking was on the end of the dock.

That and, Who doesn't? Gin's a perfect summer drink.

In Coltrane's defense, you made it seem like you were sitting on a beach blanket in 95 degree heat, brushing sand off your martini glass. Not a pleasant thought. Much different than the idea of sipping a G&T on the end of a dock while the sun slowly sets across the Atlantic. Which, of course, is so beautiful a thought I might be tearing up right now. Where is The One Who Cries?