This is the thread where the fringster comes back with teeth

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Fugee

What, you don't care if RT gets in trouble?

It doesn't look like you can push the raft off from the shore, you'd have to tow it out to deep water three miles from shore. And make sure the whole deal will burn like crazy (or weight down the corpse) to satisfy the requirement that the remains will sink to the bottom quickly and permanently. Other than that, it could work.

A body will sink without weights. The reason for the 600 ft rule is that at depth, the pressure is sufficient to keep the gases formed by decomposition from causing the body to achieve positive bouyancy. In other words, remains committed to less than 600 ft may return to the surface. Hence, concrete galoshes are required in the East River. Conversely, remains committed to 600 ft or more shouldn't require weighting. This is why some folks who drown in Tahoe (avg depth 1,000 ft) are never recovered. Off my local coast, because as recently as the Pleistocene the coastline was a full 30 miles farther out to sea, you don't reach the proper depth until you're past the Farallones. Most murderers don't account for the distance to the continental slope, and the ones who do, we obviously hear less about. It's pretty hard to reach a 600 ft depth in a freshwater body of water, which is probably why most people automatically think the Mafia way is best practice.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Fugee

So why did the city have to pay for security? Do they close the freeways for all funeral processions? For regular concert/sporting events at Staples Center does the city have to pay for extra police or do the event organizers?

AEG should definitely have to cough up some dough for the city because it was such an unnecessary thing.

I heard that John Mayer said on Larry King that he had never met Michael Jackson and was surprised when "the family" asked him to play. I'm thinking he has some sort of relationship with AEG.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

No heart tartare?

Mmmm, heart.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Flinty_McFlint

I had something pretty simple and understated in mind. Simple, non-religious, brief funeral with a no-dress up rule, plenty of food and drink, and a large, 6' X 8' color poster of me in my youth, smiling and giving the finger.

Be cremated and baked into a cake. In order to inherit anything from your estate, all beneficiaries are required to eat a slice.

Still the best idea I've heard.

I'm tinkering with giving the whole thing to science. I'm an organ donor, so I figure it would save some poor doc a bunch of stitch-work he'd otherwise have to endure. Gut it and give what's left to some med students who'll take photos of it propped up in Groucho Marx glasses which will inevitably wind up on www.cadavers.com.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Fugee

What, you don't care if RT gets in trouble?

It doesn't look like you can push the raft off from the shore, you'd have to tow it out to deep water three miles from shore. And make sure the whole deal will burn like crazy (or weight down the corpse) to satisfy the requirement that the remains will sink to the bottom quickly and permanently. Other than that, it could work.

On second thought, I think I'd make a sassy gazpacho. A little chunky from the bones and all, but that's how a good gazpacho ought to be.

(I made gazpacho two days ago and ate all of it over the last couple days. All two or so gallons. This has a quite interesting impact on the intestinal tract.)

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

I heard that John Mayer said on Larry King that he had never met Michael Jackson and was surprised when "the family" asked him to play. I'm thinking he has some sort of relationship with AEG.

They had to have somebody performing who was the same color as MJ.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Be cremated and baked into a cake. In order to inherit anything from your estate, all beneficiaries are required to eat a slice.

Still the best idea I've heard.

I'm tinkering with giving the whole thing to science. I'm an organ donor, so I figure it would save some poor doc a bunch of stitch-work he'd otherwise have to endure. Gut it and give what's left to some med students who'll take photos of it propped up in Groucho Marx glasses which will inevitably wind up on www.cadavers.com.

Mr. Man's sisters are bone collectors. A few nights every month they are on call to drive around rural Wisconsin to collect organs from accident victims. Turns out blood vessels are the most common things they are sent to harvest. I don't know why that is the case. They have some great stories that they like to pull out at the dinner table. Anyway, don't worry about wasting doctors' time on that stuff if you die at the scene of an accident.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Be cremated and baked into a cake. In order to inherit anything from your estate, all beneficiaries are required to eat a slice.

Still the best idea I've heard.

Why not bake in a gold ring or whatever it is in the mardi gras cake? Winner gets the whole estate. But you have to eat the whole piece either way.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Fugee

They had to have somebody performing who was the same color as MJ.

But according to Magic Johnson's head-scratching speech, Michael was the one who opened the doors for African-Americans to be on TV and for he and Kobe to have their jerseys retired.

See the Sun's take - http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...re-circus.html

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

Mr. Man's sisters are bone collectors. A few nights every month they are on call to drive around rural Wisconsin to collect organs from accident victims. Turns out blood vessels are the most common things they are sent to harvest. I don't know why that is the case. They have some great stories that they like to pull out at the dinner table. Anyway, don't worry about wasting doctors' time on that stuff if you die at the scene of an accident.

It's just my wish that someone be allowed to have shirked a duty or loafed in some little way in relation to my last corporal moments. If something I can control about my passing can somehow assist one of the living in doing nothing and getting paid for it, it won't all have been in vain.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

Fine, but you might pay closer attention to the fiasco that was his memorial if your (bankrupt) city was using its emergency disaster funds to pay for security detail for it. I went from doing my best to ignore all the hoopla to wanting to tar and feather each and every member of the Jackson family and the top executives at AEG for wasting our fucking money over the course of the last 48 hours. Fuck Michael Jackson. Fuck Staples Center. Fuck AEG.

I probably wouldn't pay closer attention. And I wouldn't blame Michael Jackson because your state is going bankrupt and too stupid to charge for the security detail.

TM

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

A body will sink without weights. The reason for the 600 ft rule is that at depth, the pressure is sufficient to keep the gases formed by decomposition from causing the body to achieve positive bouyancy. In other words, remains committed to less than 600 ft may return to the surface. Hence, concrete galoshes are required in the East River. Conversely, remains committed to 600 ft or more shouldn't require weighting. This is why some folks who drown in Tahoe (avg depth 1,000 ft) are never recovered. Off my local coast, because as recently as the Pleistocene the coastline was a full 30 miles farther out to sea, you don't reach the proper depth until you're past the Farallones. Most murderers don't account for the distance to the continental slope, and the ones who do, we obviously hear less about. It's pretty hard to reach a 600 ft depth in a freshwater body of water, which is probably why most people automatically think the Mafia way is best practice.

would you be willing to post transcripts for the post-secondary schooling you received, then add in a listing of the outside you regularly do?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

would you be willing to post transcripts for the post-secondary schooling you received, then add in a listing of the outside you regularly do?

This thread title blows.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive

Fine, but you might pay closer attention to the fiasco that was his memorial if your (bankrupt) city was using its emergency disaster funds to pay for security detail for it.

My bankrupt city pays every four years for a bunch of security for presidential inaugurals. Sure, Congress sometimes pays for it, or part of it, but it's not guaranteed and not paid in advance.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Adder

Sure, but it's still there, and you have to read the link to see that you don't want to click on it.

CNN seems to be wrost. Everytime I flipped to it during my morning newswatching this week they seemed to be talking Michael (and the website is no better). It's enough to drive a person to watch Morning Joe, almost.

That's why I stick to Cartoon Network.